Paul Roundy "PD"

I never thought this day would come. I am so heartbroken and sad. Sometimes it doesn't even seem real. PD was my uncle, he was 4 years older than I was, we lived right next door to each other and spent a lot of time together. He was like a brother to me. I went to him for advice, help, and just to hang out. He was incredibly funny, handsome, loving, caring, athletic, and he loved loved loved to pull pranks on EVERYONE! I really looked up to him in so many ways. Everyone who knew PD just fell in love with him. He was so fun to be around and just lit up the room when he entered. He always had a smile on his face, he had the best laugh, he knew how to make everyone feel special and loved, he LOVED children and was anxious to get married and have a family of his own. PD spent 7 months in the hospital until his journey here on earth ended. I have never been so incredibly happy for him and so sad for myself and all those who loved this kid. We did not think this was going to happen. He was only 29 years old. PD's father died a few months before he was born, he also had 3 sisters in heaven waiting for his arrival. PD battled Leukemia, went through chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant and everything seemed to be looking up, until MAC Tuberculosis was found in his body. MAC attacks those with no immune system (PD had no immune system due to the chemo and transplant) and shuts the body down. It's a slow progressing virus, it attacks the body almost like a cancer would. Ultimately that is what killed him. We were all in SHOCK and are very very devastated. I am sad for my grandmother who lost her husband and now 4 of her 8 children. She is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. I can't even fathom the idea of losing my children and husband. It's AWFUL what she has had to endure in this lifetime and it almost seems unfair. This experience has made me feel so emotional and yet it has been such a good experience for me. I have never fully felt comfortable with the thought of death and the afterlife, and for the first time in my life I TRULY felt the spirit and felt so unbelievably comfortable with HEAVEN and seeing my loved ones again. I love my life but I also cannot wait until I have the chance to see my loved ones again. This has made me feel so much closer to my Heavenly Father and it makes me anxious to do more Temple Work. Life can end with just a snap of a finger. We don't know what is going to happen next in life. Live life to the fullest, be happy, tell your loved ones you love them, be a good example, don't live life in regret, serve others, and make the best of what you have in life. I miss this kid so much but I am very happy and feel at peace with the fact that he is with his father and sisters again and is perfect and healthy once again. SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE KID!!! This picture above was before PD left on his mission.
This picture was a year or so after he came home from his mission.
This was a few months before he had to go to the hospital to begin his painful journey.

This was at the beginning of his hospital experience.

This is PD's fiance Hailey. He proposed to Hailey in Hawaii just a little while before he had to go to the hospital. They had some big plans for life, and I am so sad for her. The poor girl is so DEVASTATED! Hailey lost her mother a few years ago to cancer and her father left their family during that hard time and now she has lost her future husband.


This was PD just 2 days before he had died. He was in a drug induced coma and had machines and crap all over and in his body. It was heartwrenching to see him like this. It didn't even look like him. 2 days before PD had died he was starting to wake up a little more and be more alert, so we all thought things were gonna get better from there. Boy were we WRONG! I think those 2 days were for my Grandma, his brother and best friend Mathew, and his fiance Hailey. They needed those 2 days with him before he passed away. My uncle Mathew also went through the same experience as PD and he is as healthy as a horse and we couldn't be more delighted with that. My Grandpa, 3 aunts and now my uncle PD all died from the same genetic disease.

PD'S FUNERAL
February 13, 2010Thank you to my mom who took some pictures of the funeral. I thought about taking some pictures but got caught up in other things. I am glad to have pictures to be able to look back on this day (not that it's a day we really want to remember).

It was so INCREDIBLY hard to see PD like this. He didn't even look the same. Between the chemo, bonemarrow transplant, and extra fluids in his body from the ICU, he looked so so different. I knew what to expect cause this isn't the first time we have had to do this in our family, but it's still hard nonetheless. I was young, but I remember both my aunt's Paula and Michelle who went through the same treatment as PD and they all looked this. It's still really really hard for me to believe, I know he is gone, but at the same time it doesn't seem real.

All the pall bearers.
Left: Kelly(friend), Taylor (my husband), Bryce (my brother), Wes (PD's best friend), and Mathew (PD's brother/best friend and my uncle).

Taylor, Bryce, Wes, and Mathew.

Casey Brooksby (one of PD's best friends). Casey and PD have been friends since they were babies. They grew up together.

Wes Whitehead (friend). I am so grateful for PD's friends. So many of his friends became my friends. Wes was so good to all of us and was such a support to me especially during this hard time. I have a piece of PD through all of his friends.

Lige Carr (friend)

Taylor.
PD and Taylor became buds shortly after we were married. They enjoyed a lot of the same things, and the 2 of them had the same personality. GOOFY, FUN, LOVING, AND ALWAYS HAPPY. They both have a contagious smile and both of their laughs will make you laugh until you almost pee your pants. You couldn't look at either one of them without smiling.

Mathew (my uncle, pd's brother)
Mathew went through the same treatment as PD a few years back and he came out of that struggle TRIUMPHANTLY.



Mike (my uncle, pd's brother)


Bryce (my little brother, pd's nephew).

Rob (my dad, pd's brother in law).


Eileen (my grandmother, pd's mother).

This woman has had to bury her husband just a few months before PD was born. She had to bury her only a few months old first born child/daughter, her 16 year old daughter, and 21 year old daughter, and now her 29 year old youngest child/son. I hope she as well as us NEVER has to do this again. She has had her fair share of tragedy in this life and I don't know if she can take anymore.

PD's fiance/the love of his life.

TERRIBLE day for our family, but a day we all got a little closure, but also a day we hoped would never happen. We miss him!

NEED SUGGESTIONS PLEASE

Taylor and I are trying to plan a vacation for June.

We haven't been on a trip just me and him for almost 4 years.

After Law School and taking the Bar Exam we are feeling like we need a little celebration.

We want to go somewhere very pretty and NEW to us, oh yeah..........AND CHEAP!

I am thinking Hawaii, but we have been there.

New York

A Cruise

San Francisco, but I just don't know if that is the kind of vacation we are thinking.

I have so many places I would like to go but I just can't make up my mind.

PLEASE give me some of your suggestions and places you have been and LOVED.

Keep in mind, we are really trying to go on a CHEAP vacation (don't know if that's possible).

HELP US!!!!!

Sledding

I took the kids sledding with me and the YW of our ward. They had so much fun and DID NOT want to go home. They were freezing, had snotty noses and rosy cheeks but that did not stop them. Brynlee was my little dare devil and wanted to go to the top of the hill and slide all the way down. She would not allow me to only let her go down from the middle of the hill, it had to be the top. Kamryn was happy doing whatever we told her to do. Tayson didn't really know what to think of it, but he still had fun.

Just one of those days!!!!!!!

I was just having one of those days!

Needed to vent and get frustration out.

Thank you all for your comments and words of encouragement.

I am BLESSED with amazing friends and family.

We as women compare ourselves and our lives with each other too much.

We are never completely satisfied with what we have.

It's UNFORTUNATE, but it's REALITY!

Life isn't perfect and neither are we!

You all pointed out to me that BLOGS are just a way to show off the good stuff in life and not the bad. Nobody wants to share the bad things in life.

It's so TRUE!

I was feeling a little frustrated that I wasn't able to do all the things I wanted to do, couldn't finish the unfinished projects without the kids going BONKERS!

After a few days of feeling bad, I picked up my feet and moved on.

I found time to do things that I wanted to do without the kids bothering me.

It feels good, the feeling of accomplishment makes someone feel so much better.

Accomplishing something other than household duties or errands is a good feeling.

I feel better.

I love blogging, I love catching up with old friends.

I just need to remember the important things in life and stop worrying about the negative and most importantly stop comparing.

We all are different and have different circumstances.

Putting my focus more on the positive and most importantly my beautiful family.

Family is most important and what makes me the happiest.

I am a LUCKY girl!

Thanks for being there for me, I LOVE you all!

P.S. Someone had to break the BARRIER and admit to feeling bad about things, and comparing ourselves to others. I was just glad to hear that SO MANY others feel the same way I do. It's REFRESHING! So you can all thank me for that......hahaha just kidding!

HOW DO YOU DO IT?!?!?!?!?!

How do you do it, that is the question?

Lately I feel like sh$@#.

This blogging thing is killing me.

I look at so many blogs.

I see so many cute ideas.

You are all so creative and fun.

You women sew, scrapbook, make fun crafts, do fun activities with your kids, cook wonderful meals, read books all the time, shop like crazy, some of you work, you make jewelry.

I feel like the blogging world has just become a way to SHOW OFF!

There....I said it!

There is nothing wrong with it, but it makes me feel so BLEH.

How do you keep up?

I can't keep up with all the cute headbands, flowers, jewelry, tutu's, beanie's, clothes, bedding, and crafts that so many of you do.

When I feel like I just got the new style of tutu, flower, or any kind of cutsie accessory, I am shutdown by a BRAND NEW STYLE.

Ugghhh! SO FRUSTRATING!

I want to be creative, I wanna make cute clothes for my kids, I wanna have nice furniture, I wanna be crafty creative and handy, I want a new car (sick of being the mini-van mom).

But it's just not possible, we are too poor.

I think of something fun to make and shortly realize that it's almost as expensive to make it as buying it and then I have to stress about making it.

So many of you dress AMAZING and you are so in style, your kids are dressed to the max.

But how?

If it's not on super clearance, I don't buy it, I can't bring myself to spend $15.00 on a shirt for myself let alone my kids.

Sometimes I just feel like a FRUMPY OLD MOM!

Snot on my shirt, food on my face, and my hair looks like I just WOKE UP, my make-up always smeared, and I am just POOPED.

I try to be crafty, but it never turns out to be CUTE.

And if I try to be creative, I find myself exhausted, the dishes stack up, the laundry piles up, the house looks as if a TORNADO has just blown through, and the kids are ignored and cranky.

Is it worth it?

I don't have the time or energy to cook, clean, take care of myself, run errands, pay bills, BLOG, read stories to my kids, take care of my kids, have a social life, teach my children, scrapbook, sew, have play dates, and be crafty.

It's not possible to be a good mom, wife, friend, or example if I am so FLUSTERED.

Kids are only little once so why not enjoy them!

I am FRAGGLED!

HOW DO YOU DO IT?

I have had projects that I have wanted to do for awhile now, and after 4 weeks of doing a bit here and a bit there....it's still sitting on my kitchen table totally UNFINISHED.

My kids go BANANA'S if I even TRY to work on something.

And then I get CRANKY and it's just not fair to them.

Ugghhhh!

Maybe I am just BUGGED out cause Taylor has been studying for the Bar for a month now, and he has one more month to go.

He's not home much.

He is home in the morning for a few hrs. and that's it.

I am overwhelmed and emotional.

But this BLOGGING network doesn't make it any easier on me.

So many of you out there are so talented and creative.

Anyone else feel the way I do?

Or am I the only CRAZY one here?

Help me!

Once there was a snowman.......

*Today, it snowed, and it snowed, and it snowed.

*I shoveled till I thought my back was gonna give out.

*The kids were super stoked to go romp and play in the snow.

*They ate some snow.

*Threw a few snowballs.

*Made some snow angels.

*And last but certainly not least.......we built a snowman.

*It was lots of fun.

*Mom used her last little bit of strength and made Mr. Frosty.

*Dad found things to put on Frosty's face.

*He was pretty creative....eh' hem, hence the EASY CHEESE for the smile.

*This snow made for a good snow shoveling, snowball fighting, snow eating, snow angel, FUN day.

Tayson's in Nursery

Today was the BIG DAY. Tayson has joined the Nursery class....yay! He actually was able to attend last month but due to christmas, vacations, and sickness he has not been able to go. I was so excited to drop him off and wave goodbye to that SWEET CHUBBY LITTLE FACE and teach my Young Women's class in PEACE. He did so good and had a BLAST eating snacks, coloring, running, jumping, and stealing toys I am sure. BIG DAY for him and SAD DAY for me, my baby is growing up :(

California and Disneyland

OCEANSIDE BEACH

While searching for seashells Brynlee was caught by surprise by a big wave and was soaked from the shoulders down. She was a little traumatized and didn't want near the beach after that.

Taylor stopped by the San Diego Temple for me so that I could get a good glimpse of how BEAUTIFUL the temple is. AMAZING!

North family pictures in front of the christmas tree of our hotel.

DISNEYLAND

Yummy Monstrous Turkey Leg....mmmmmm.....sooooo good. Tasted a little more like ham to me though.
We did the Royal Princess Breakfast with all the girls. Food was DELISH, and the girls had fun staring at all the BEAUTIFUL princesses.

This year for christmas we all decided to buy cheap presents from the D.I. or Dollar Store for each other and make it as funny as we could. We got Taylor's 2 sisters Ashley and Lindsey boxing gloves so we could see the 2 of them box each other. DIDN'T HAPPEN. We were a little disappointed that nobody wanted to try these suckers on and duke it out.

We had a great time in California. The best part of the whole trip was creating new memories with each other, talking, and hanging out. Thanks Mike and Michelle for such a good time!